Tuesday, August 13, 2013

You know what's NOT funny? Every time my husband has to go out of town without me something major happens. It's an unwritten law that I will have to deal with something unpleasant or unusual in his absence.

I remember clearly the day he left for his second deployment to Iraq, I managed to plug up the kitchen sink with rice so bad that I was forced to re-plump the pipes and relay the bottom of the cabinet with my dad coaxing me over the phone.

I'd rather do that again any day than deal with the trauma I just endured. And here I thought I'd made it through his time away this time with no issues.

He was only gone a week this time and only 4 hours from returning home. I cleaned the house then sat on the couch to relax with my laptop. Suddenly the curtain next to me moved and I heard a scratching sound. Naturally, I freak out and grab a broom to beat on the curtains.

But nothing's there. I pull the curtain back and notice (gasp) droppings. I've never lived in a house with mice and now I'm moving from one piece of furniture to the next. My feet aren't touching the floor until I find the source of my anxiety.

My 8 year old is the first to actually see it, notifying me with her shrill screams as she jumps onto the coffee table. Let me just pause to say that this is the same child that has a pet dwarf hamster she constantly handles. So why she's terrified is beyond me.

It's now under the couch and with a desperate call to hubby it's decided that I should pull the couch out and surround it with blankets to trap it in. Yeah, I know right.

So I do as told and the little thing starts poking its head through the blankets as if to show me that blankets won't hold it. It keeps popping it head out and back in before I can cover it with the bowl I'm holding poised and ready.

After over a half an hour of this, the kids are growing bored with helping me watch for it and I know I must take more drastic measures. So I give a bowl to my 10 year old son and instruct him to be ready to catch it when I lift the couch.

This maneuver isn't so easy as it's a heavy leather couch. I tip it back and it escapes into a blanket. I toss the extra blankets aside and focus on that one, but it runs back under the couch. I tip it again and with only one blanket for it to hide underneath and boy drops the bowl. It squeals but escapes and runs toward me (gulp) along the edge of the couch still on the ground. I try to catch it but it runs back toward the boy. After several rounds of this it gets past him and heads to the kitchen. He misses again with the bowl, but finally I got a bowl over it.

By the way, this thing really stinks! Just thought I'd let you know.

I get a cookie sheet, slide it underneath and take it outside to release it. I'd kill it, but... yuck! So once we get a good look at it and further viewing of the pic. I think it was actually a baby mole, or maybe that's how big they are when grown. I don't know.

I think the best part was the conversation with my sister afterward.

Me: We had a baby mole in our house. (I sent her above pic)
Her: OMG!! YUCKY!!
Me: Yeah! I was freaking out but I caught and release it.
Her: You caught it! You're a ninja!
Me: A screaming ninja! 
Her: Oh yes! Is there any other kind?
Me: Not when it involves rodents.
Her: Or bugs...or...gulp...ducks!
Me: No with ducks I'm the laughing ninja.
Her: Nice...just keep rubbing the salt in my wounds...my scared, fire breathing, ducks are evil wounds. (Okay there's a story there I'll tell another time perhaps.)
Me: But oh so hilarious! I love our conversations.
Her: I know! I'm at Secretary of State, laughing to myself...I look crazy...so I totally fit in.

I love my sister.
By the way here's the aftermath of our escapades.

Also I just noticed there is a stain on the bottom of the couch. It is true you learn something new everyday.

*****Update***** Upon further research and looking at pictures. I'm almost convinced it was a shrew. I'd be happier with a mole, that would be a fluke. A shrew means possibly more of them somewhere? Maybe? Hubby needs to hurry up and get home already!